End of the Year as We Know It

I didn't realize I hadn't updated this in so long. 

I am doing fine. Not thriving. But I'm doing fine. Much better than my previous entries have painted. 

At this point I've had 3 surgeries. 1 mastectomy, and 2 cosmetic surgeries to try to force my body to look the way it should. My boobs are kind of normal now, though I am still technically healing and swelling from the last surgery.

My treatment consists of daily hormone pills and a monthly shot to suppress the use of my ovaries. I'm probably not able to have children, but honestly that is the least of my worries. I've never been against adoption and Tim and I are not in a place where we want kids right now. Next year I may have another surgery to take my ovaries out, so I won't have to worry about the shot. Essentially I am going through menopause at 34. 

I am slowly trying to piece my life together, but I feel like I am always doing that. It's just on a larger scale now. This past year was dedicated to surviving, and healing, and getting through. I didn't make larger plans because I didn't know what I could handle, with surgeries and having to physically go back to work. The latter was especially trying. 

I made smaller breakthroughs and goals though. I wrote more. I made some art. I played a lot of video games. I tried to enjoy what I could, but I didn't set myself a schedule or a timeline, and I felt a little lost at times.

In 2022 I'm going to try to piggy back off of that. I'm going to focus on a balance of having fun and doing what I have to do: work/health/etc. It seems simple enough, but I'm just glad to be planning again.