MRnIghtmare

Let me explain to you how awful getting an MRI is: It's like being in a very small rocket ship, like it's made for a small monkey but they just decided to put a full sized adult in it instead, and you also don't get to go anywhere cool. You just stay on the ground while all of the blasters burn up and 30 minutes later they pull you out and tell you to go home. Also there's a needle in your arm.

Hubs came into the imaging center with me, only to leave shortly after because the waiting room was very crowded and there was nowhere for us to sit. I filled out some paperwork and was told to go into a different waiting room by the front desk clerk who was yelling instructions at everyone in the room.

When I was called back the nurse asked me the same questions on my paperwork, and then asked me if this was my first MRI. When I said it was, she asked if my surgeon had explained to me what would happen, and was surprised when I told her I had no idea what was going to happen. I'm finding that a lot of these offices kind of assume that someone else has explained things to me when in reality I'm kind of just along for the ride. I digress, she explained the process to me and answered all my questions. Normally MRI scans are done with the patient on their back, but since this was for my breasts, I would be laying on my stomach, and it would take about 30 minutes. I knew enough about it to not wear anything with metal. Since I opted for some leggings I got to keep my pants on. They gave me two gowns to wear, one from behind and one for the front, I suppose to keep my boobs from escaping. I then got an IV with a saline solution injected into me, and the connector was taped to my arm while I waited for the MRI machine to become available. She told me that they would be injecting a dye solution during the MRI just to see if it would reveal anything they may have missed in the initial scans. I've only ever encountered needles while getting my blood drawn, and that happens about twice a year for me, so I'm used to butterfly needles, but this was a little thicker and more uncomfortable. I could feel the entry point getting sore while I sat there, but nothing burned or hurt while the nurse was injecting me. 

I could hear the tech talking to the person in the MRI machine before me, and she was asking her to hold her breath, much like I had to do during my mammogram, but for longer periods of time. I tried holding my breath along with her, just to see if I would have any issues doing so myself, and it was touch and go, but I figured I'd survive. 

When the tech got to me, she was super thorough and funny. The table I had to lay on had two holes for my breasts to go, and my head fit into a head rest facing down. She told me this was obviously invented by a man and there was no graceful way to go about it and I couldn't really be decent while getting situated, but at least they wouldn't squeeze my boobs like the mammogram did. She gave me some ear plugs (because this thing is fucking loud). I climbed onto the table and it was honestly pretty comfortable except for the portion between the holes pushing into my sternum. Then it became way more uncomfortable. She strapped my arms to my side after attaching the dye solution to my IV and gave me a "panic button" to hit if I needed anything. Then she started moving me into the tube, and this is where I discovered that I'm claustrophobic. Various people had asked me if I was claustrophobic before I went in, and I told them I didn't think so, but I'd never been shoved in a metal tube before. I'm also a plus size lady, so the tube pressed my arms down even more, further demonstrating that I am t r a p p e d. The tech asked if I was ok, and I said I wasn't sure. I was slightly panicking and almost asked her to take me out and tell her I couldn't do it. She came around to my head and moved some of the tissue away from my face, revealing a window to the floor and asked if that helped at all, and it honestly helped a ton. At least I could see outside of the machine and I felt like I could breath. I don't know if there is a similar window on the top of the machine, because I doubt I'd be able to handle being in there if all I could see was metal. 

Fortunately, I wasn't asked to hold my breath at all, so I guess the woman before me was getting her lungs scanned. I laid strapped to the table inside a metal noise machine for about 30 minutes. After about 5 minutes my body kind of relaxed and I got used to the straps and the table. I couldn't really see where I was positioned, but I get the impression that my legs weren't inside the tube because they were cold, while the top half of my body warmed up while the machine was scanning. I didn't really have any concept of time, but I imagine the first scans took about 15 to 20 minutes. The tech told me I was doing really well, and that she was going to inject the dye into my IV and it might feel cold. It was an odd feeling, but not painful. After that, the scans took about 10 more minutes and I was done. 

I felt a bit dizzy and was told to drink a lot of water to flush the solution out of my system. When hubs picked me up he asked if they'd given me a Xanax because I seemed very mellow. I laughed and said no, I'd just done a lot of breathing exercises as to not panic. If anything, I felt exhausted from it all. The tech asked if I'd have to do this every year, and I told her I fucking hoped not, but I suppose that is a possibility. I'm told there is a different type of MRI scanner that is open and not as terrifying, so I may need to look into that possibility in the future.

I got some Pad Thai and donuts out of the trip though.